Games

I'm tired of chasing you and then waiting around for you to come find me. Playing hide-and-go-seek was never one of my favourite games.

- Deveney Abilene Roberts

Dependant

Self Control

Morning Blues

Undo Me

A Card

Waiting

Pain

Everyone reaches a point in life where they are unsure of what they are feeling or what they are doing. Sometimes it's a feeling that's barely felt, just a glance as it passes by. At other times it glares at people from behind the bushes, stalking them for days, maybe months, leaving the person so confused and so messed up in life, that even though they know they should try and make amends, they're left uncertain about the outcome.

I question myself everyday, how can a person be so confident about themselves one second and suddenly crash and burn for no reason the next second. 

No matter how hard you try to get outta this mess there's that tiny part of you that has just lost all hope and its that tiny part that holds you back from the destiny that lies up ahead of you.

People always talk of suicide victims saying "they were stupid to kill themselves for 'that" reason", but I always think to myself, you never know what was going through their head, how many days they had been fighting battle after battle, before the darkness finally won and consumed them wholly.

- Deveney Abilene Roberts

Fairy Tale

A little girl sits with her eyes shinning bright

As she gazes up and listens to a story one night

A story about a princess with all her riches and love

With all her heart's desires fulfilled by up above.

She sits every night ever since, 

and silently prays for her prince.

She was yet to learn that there was more to life than a knight in shinning armour

That the riches that she wished for were more than simple worldly glamour

She was a princess of the highest order

To her kindness there would be no border

She leaves at 14 on her first date

Not knowing what fate might await

She gives herself up completely 

And gets hurt deeply

Her sobs are heart wrenching 

As she looks to the sky, her hands clenching

Evening star, make my fairy tale come true

Without it I wouldn't know what to do

Cos I believe I'm a princess of some sort

And that I deserve all the treasures unbought.

-Deveney Abilene Roberts.

Note To Self

You

My heart skips a beat

Each time I catch your eye

You seem so perfect and flawless to me

I would gladly believe your every lie

I am captured by your presence

Though I do not show

You bring my heart to a halt

You never make me feel low

You take my breath away

Whenever you say my name

I'm terrified of loving you

I'm scared it's just a game

A single touch from you

Sends shivers straight through me

It starts at the top of my head

And is pulled straight down by gravity

You pierce me within with a single smouldering look

But I am so fearful of being trapped in love's hook

Love has taught me many things

But fear I remember only

Of how one can unwind you completely

And then leave you feeling so lost and lonely

And so I keep my distance

I dare not take a sip out of love's cup

Out of fear that you won't love the inner me

I dare not open up

But you are all I think of

My not-so-secret love

You are my everything

You I already love.

-Deveney Abilene Roberts

True Love

Tall, handsome and manly.
He glanced at her and their eyes met just for a moment
A sense of belonging
A feeling of unconditional love
A strong zap of electricity.
She discarded it, after all she was only 15 and he was 27.

It can't happen she thought,
How can my one true love be so much older,
Society won't let it happen.
It's just a crush,
Just infatuation, she convinced herself.

But three years later,
After all the hurt and pain from loveless loves,
She found herself seated beside him by chance.
Not a word was spoken but glances were passed.
Smiles played upon both of their lips.
She knew it wasn't a common crush, she knew it had to be more.

Like a vine on a tree, they found their lives begin to intertwine.
She moved, he moved.
He moved, she moved.
In tune with each other and inseparable.
He completed her and accepted her,
She healed him and made him whole.
He had the whole world to offer her.
He was not perfect but, he was all she had ever dreamed of.

The sparkle in their eyes,
The feeling of being wanted,
The deep pink blush in her cheeks,
The strongest love he ever felt,
The giggles and hearty laughs shared.
He made her happy and she knew nothing else but him.

But as she predicted, society would not hear of it.
It pulled them and pushed them
Ripping them apart, tearing their flesh open.
They fought and fought, united against society
But as it grew harder and harder
They felt it slipping away.

It was not yet their time,

And so they decided to part,
Both still hopeful for the future.

His heart remained with her and hers with him.

Theirs is a love that will never end.

Theirs is an unconditional promise.
Though apart, always in each others thoughts.
Memories that will never be forgotten.
A love that can never be compared.
A love against all odds.
A love that binds and heals.
A love that fights and quarrels but, never sleeps upset.
A love that cannot be measured.

They're true love.

-Deveney Abilene Roberts

Choices II

"Help ignite a light or live in someone else's light. Are these the only choices you have?"

The choices we make are the choices we create.

You get so caught up in helping others or basking in someone else's light that you forget the light present within you. You struggle trying to make the right choice and you finally realize that sometimes it's OK to choose 'you'.

You are strong. You are powerful. You are beautiful. You are handsome. You have an eternal light within you. All you have to do is reach deep within you, past the hurt and the pain, past the filth and through the darkest valley within you. You move through it all, only pausing now and again to dwell on the few memories that will help make you stronger, help you shine brighter. You start to move swiftly. You are terrified, after all fear is only natural.

You tend to forget that this darkness present within you, is the same darkness that you created. It was once your choice. As soon as you begin to accept  this you realize that even the darkest part of you isn't that dark at all.

Slowly you realize that you had no reason to fear. That you need not make choices only concerning others and not yourself. That through your light, others may find their light. You are an inspiration. A role model to all those engulfed in darkness.

'You' are your choice.

-Deveney Abilene Roberts

Choices

If you had to make a choice between your head and your heart, what would you do?

You spend nights trying to figure out where things went wrong, how you can make things better. You're so caught up trying to re-live the past that you completely forget about taking a good look at what the present is offering you. Finally you glance at the warmth emanating from the light in front of you and you're overwhelmed by it. You remember feeling something like that earlier in life. Just this simple thought drags you back to the past. Darkness envelops you once again. You're lost. You know the only solution to this problem is making peace with the past and letting go. You're torn between light and darkness. 

Your darkness was once your light. You're scared of your new found light fading away too. So you just shut yourself out. You try not to feel. You hurt. You cry. You begin to let go and you finally smile while light wraps itself around you. Just as you're almost completely engulfed in it's warmth, darkness sweeps in and drags you back. But, something is different. You notice a small speck of light in that darkness.

You have a choice to make: Do you sweep in and risk everything to help ignite that small light, like you did earlier; or do you chose to live in the warmth of the new found light?

- Deveney Abilene Roberts

Perfectly Imperfect

Our world today is filled with people who wish to be perfect. We all strive  for one goal - perfection; but we very so often forget to stop and think how boring life would be if everyone and everything was perfect. There would be no unique and talented people to help bring change in our lives. Everything would be planned and life would be exactly the same for everyone. The joy of variety would be lost and it would be like we are living a game where there's only one number on the dice, where every move is already perceived. 

It's not perfection that we should be rooting for, but happiness. Someone once said that "Happiness is most often mistaken for the temporary fulfillment of one's desire, and desires never truly die." If we realize that desires don't really matter, but that we already have what we really 

need, then one would truly find happiness.

In a life where everything can be bought with just a click of a button, happiness seems miles away from us. I am not perfect and neither are you, nor is the person beside you. Learning to love yourself for everything that you are today and not wishing for a different you tomorrow could be your answer to life. I maybe short, I may not have the perfect figure and I maybe terrified of spiders, but, I am happy with who I am today because I am a writer, an artist, a singer and I am creative; I am perfectly imperfect in my own happy way. 

- Deveney Abilene Roberts